HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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