my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
What changed your mind?
Being sober
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
