The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize