R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
