They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
