i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
He better not be in your backpack
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
