She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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