This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
