So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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