In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
