I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
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These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I have aggressive nipples.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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