i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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