Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
