yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
