Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
