There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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