girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
