Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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