Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
