We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
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we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
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Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
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