I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
