have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
