i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
