too bad you live with your parents still
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
