Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
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