I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Randomize
