Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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