he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
