Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
