did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
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