I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
