Fuck appropriateness.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
