I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
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