I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
