please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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