she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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