And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
