No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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