Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Just high enough for therapy.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize