I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
