i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
