I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize