I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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