You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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