There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
