im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
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