But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize