i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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