yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
