Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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