We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
