check it out our google latitudes are spooning
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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