so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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