he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
And my parents said I crawled through the house
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
