It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
