Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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